Conflict is an almost inevitable problem in one’s career. It often ended up feeling embarrassed or chose to keep the grievances to ourselves when dealing with it the first few time. However, looking back now, those seemingly catastrophic dilemmas did not necessarily end in tragedy.
After practicing ‘Collaborative Negotiation’ in various scenarios such as interviews, project scheduling, and problem clarification over the past few years, I have fugured out an approach for myself that is both emotionally acceptable and delivers mostly favorable outcomes.
Here are some relatively specific and practical skills to share:
Rather than directly opposing issues, focus on and gradually expand areas of common ground
While it is natural to invest energy in issues that one cares about, it can be challenging to make progress when directly opposing the other side. In situations where obstacles seem insurmountable, considering alternative routes can also be an option.
For instance, when discussing a project with a tight schedule, proposing a delay in the delivery time can encounter great resistance. However, there might be a shared understanding that the situation must be mitigated on time.
Based on this unspoken agreement, the focus can be shifted to other aspects such as delivery quality or scale instead of just the schedule.
Raise the level of discussion by continuously tracing back to the root of the problem
Negotiations that are difficult to progress may be due to strict constraints within the framework. For example, the conversation can become stuck in a tug of war over the specific number after being asked about the current or expected basic salary.
While the basic salary is undoubtedly significant, it is only one aspect of the compensation package, and the current package structure is just one piece of information disclosed during the recruitment process. Therefore, it might be beneficial to elevate the discussion by delving into the whole compensation package structure or even the entire recruitment policy.
The core issue should be focused on making the recruitment process successful, rather than merely convincing the candidate to accept a specific number mentioned in a half-hour video call.
What other action can be took to make the recruitment successful, considering the current policies and procedures? This might involve offering sign-on bonuses, additional PTO, submitting recommendation letters from former managers, or professional certificates for re-evaluation.
By elevating the discussion and reframing the problem, there may be opportunities to discover new possibilities for collaboration.
Clarify the goals and limitations of both sides and collaborate to find a solution
Breaking the deadlock can also be achieved by sincerely asking the other side about their current considerations or limitations. This can help establish a shared perspective and clarify the goals of both sides. By engaging in candid communication, you can work together towards finding a mutually beneficial solution.
Most of the time, nothing will be changed whether we choose to be transparent or withhold information. However, a desirable outcome can be achieved by exchanging ideas and arriving at a feasible solution.
The inclination to withhold information is primarily a matter of perception, but with enough work experience, many things become common knowledge, and we may even laugh it off if we choose to be transparent.
Untangling the underlying logic of restrictions during negotiations and searching for details that provide a turning point or a reason for making an exception can be worthwhile and may lead to finding a solution that was not initially apparent.
Invite the other side to participate in “Collaborative Negotiation”
I personally think that one of the core concepts of “cooperative negotiation” is to share information. If both parties are willing to invest, it can save a lot of mental costs of being suspicious, and there is a considerable improvement in the efficiency of progress.
The last technique I want to share is to demonstrate the efficiency and results to the other side, encourage them to share more information, and work together towards achieving common goals.
By doing so, you can foster a sense of cooperation and establish a shared perspective, leading to a more successful negotiation outcome.